


Liquid Courage and Solid Advice

by aimforthedogstar



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Get Together, M/M, Modern AU, Mutual Pining, Pining, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-07
Updated: 2019-03-07
Packaged: 2019-11-13 10:30:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18030047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aimforthedogstar/pseuds/aimforthedogstar
Summary: Remus likes Sirius and Sirius likes Remus but it's a fact unknown to the other. Until a certain event prompts Remus to finally put everything on the line and act on it.To take a leap of faith...





	Liquid Courage and Solid Advice

**Author's Note:**

  * For [YumeNouveau](https://archiveofourown.org/users/YumeNouveau/gifts).



> Based on a Tumblr prompt that ran far far away from me...

Remus had had a fascination with books all his life. In his opinion, it was one of the best and with his group of friends, the safest means of escape from the mundane reality of life.  
Once upon a time in his life, before certain rather annoying and persistent feelings for a certain grey-eyed, cocky yet sweet boy had sprung within the recesses of his mind and heart alike, Remus had immensely enjoyed reading poetry. Few words strung together wishing to portray emotions long held deep within the hearts of poets, hoping to portray a fraction of the pain and pleasure once felt, talking of love tragic and unrequited yet endearing and worthwhile. It had been one of his favourite past times.  
They had always seemed so beautiful, so deep and profound. But now, now Remus failed to see the beauty.  
_What the hell was charming about unrequited feelings? It just hurt like crap and made him constantly feel like he was trapped in a dark room, moving aimlessly and endlessly, where none of his senses seem to work like they were supposed to and his arms constantly outstretched for some contact, some anchor, some relief, something._  
And today Remus finally felt he was stretched too thin, his endurance had reached his end and he knew he couldn’t bottle and repress his feelings any longer. And he had reached this point all because of a silly bouquet of flowers. He had met his end with flowers.  
Although it wasn’t the flowers themselves that were the culprit but rather who they were from and more importantly who they were for.  
This morning as he’d sat around waiting on Sirius at his apartment, a knock had sounded at the door which Remus had promptly answered only to come face to face with a delivery guy holding a many-hued bunch of flowers held neat in a rainbow ribbon.  
“Sirius Black?” the delivery guy had asked and before Remus could reply Sirius was at his shoulder receiving the package.  
Remus was confused for a few minutes but his confusion gave way to a gut wrenching fear or sorrow or just more confusion, Remus didn’t exactly know, when he’d seen the way Sirius’ face had lit up gazing at all the colours and his eyes had practically glittered when he’d read the card accompanying them.  
Now sitting at the bar, nursing some bitter drink or another, Remus understood that what had finally brought him here was the fear of losing Sirius to someone else.  
It had been one thing for him to swallow all he felt and act like nothing quite fit well as they were meant to when, despite Remus’ fears, Sirius had always been a constant. No matter what equation dictated what was between them, for as long as he could remember, they’d been there together, with each other and for each other. And now the thought of that comfort slipping away just because Remus wasn’t bold enough to take that leap in the direction, to take that chance was breaking his heart in the worst way possible.  
Sirius Black, a crush that had begun as a small flicker struck in his chest, like a match, by the universe itself was now a roaring flame which spit out a heat within Remus that was unavoidable and unforgettable, flaring to life whenever the steel-eyed and soft hearted man was near whether in proximity or in thought.  
The logical part of Remus’ mind screamed getting drunk was not a solution to his own lack of courage to voice those feelings aloud, to risk all that did exist between the two men forged through years of close friendship and camaraderie.  
“What’s got you down there buddy?” Questioned the bartender as she made her way to stand across from him, both hands busy cleaning a glass.  
It was remarkable how mental exhaustion was never paid much heed to in the society despite how much draining it could be. And that was also why Remus felt so bare and open that he didn’t mind engaging in a conversation with a total stranger about his dilemma.  
“Oh, the usual.” Murmured Remus gazing into the depths of his drink. It was whiskey, that was what he had been drinking. It was a drink that held special place in Remus’ heart. The reason was that that had been the first drink he had shared with his father at sixteen, just one finger, as they had sat in the backyard one summer night in silence.  
“The usual huh,” continued the bartender, “problems with your boss or your lover?”  
A small laugh escaped Remus’ lips, “Umm, the second one I guess but he’s not my lover yet. I doubt he’ll ever be one.”  
“Why not? He don’t swing that way?” Asked the bartender with a smirk on her lips.  
“No, no. He definitely swings that way. It’s just I’ve never been bold enough to admit it and now it looks like someone else has got his attention anyway. So....” He broke off taking a swig of his drink finishing it off at once.  
“You know, in my experience, things shouldn’t ever be left unsaid,” advised the bartender as she topped off Remus’ drink.  
“It’s a little more complicated than that,” Remus said as he gazed at the full glass in front of him before swallowing the lot at once.  
The bartender laughed, “that complicated huh?”  
Remus just hummed in response now playing with an empty glass.  
“I still say you should let him know. If it’s already complicated, not like it can get more complicated.”  
Raising an eyebrow in response, “it can very well get more complicated. He’s one of my best friends, believe me, the complication can still go on for kilometres if I let it.”  
“Then its all the more reason to let the guy know, right? If he’s your best friend, he’ll be in your life everyday and that’ll only serve as a reminder that you didn’t do anything when you could’ve have. Sometimes it’s better to do and regret rather than play safe and regret.”  
Taking the words in, Remus began to giggle uncontrollably.  
“What?” Queried the bartender, slight amusement colouring her tone.  
“I can’t believe that I’m sitting here drinking alone over a love that may or may not workout and I have a sagely bartender offering advice, this is like a movie. It’s... it’s unreal.”  
“Well, if this was a movie, you’d now be making your way over to this special someone of yours and pouring your heart out.” Suggested the bartender smugly.  
“Yes, if it were a movie, but sadly, it’s not.”  
“Ya’know my grandma always told me, that the universe sets up a few opportunities in life where if you don’t take it, you’ll never get it back. So think of me as your own personal fairy godmother or something, who, as you said is very sagely and go over to your man and let him know before it’s too late.”  
Remus didn’t know if it was the alcohol that cast a fog over his normal cynicism but some corner of his mind echoed the bartender’s words back to him as if it were an ultimatum. Years he’d spent pining over his best friend but for some reason, his inebriated mind came to the conclusion that tonight of all nights, that if he didn’t do this now, he would a few bills on the counter and he was out the door and hailing for a taxi. 

 

All through the ride Remus envisioned just how this encounter with Sirius would go. He was drunk enough to just focus on this night ending on a happier note not paying much heed to the panic slowly blossoming like a flower in the pit of his stomach. Reaching his destination sooner than he expected, Remus banged his way up the stairs to Sirius’ apartment. He’d been given a key way back when Sirius had first moved into the place. He’d never said anything about it, he’d just placed it in Remus’ palm like it was a natural thing to do. But then again that was Sirius. He was a man of many layers and to those select few to whom he had bared all that he was, he let them in. And once he let someone in, he let them in completely, into his home, into his life and into his heart.  
One of the first things Remus had fallen in love with was just how big of a heart Sirius seemed to have.  
As he made his way through the hallway and to the door of Sirius’ apartment, he froze. His inebriated mind for a second thrown for a loop as to what he was doing here.  
_Yes, Sirius!_ He mind screamed.  
He banged on the door a number of times.  
Just slightly put off, he then, swaying on his feet, fished around for keys in his pockets. Finding them, he unlocked the door and made his way inside just barely shutting it.  
“Sirius,” he bellowed. And received no response in return. The room was barely lit by a reading lamp in the corner and the rest was bathed in dark shadows. Remus just stood there in the center of the room.  
_What am I doing here?_ Well there came the panic. He was slowly sobering up and with it his anxiety was beginning to awaken from its slumber.  
He questioned himself. Maybe the universe was telling him not to do it, Sirius wasn’t home, if he left now he’d never know.  
Shaking his head, he made his way to the front door but his feet felt like lead and hesitation set in.  
_No, I should wait for him and do this. Tonight!_  
It truly was a remarkable feeling to have two opposite thoughts warring in his mind.  
Remus knew if he left now he’d never work up the courage again. So he told himself he’d wait, as long as he could he’d wait.  
But it didn’t help that all this thinking seemed to take the high off the alcohol and the wonders of liquid encouragement was what he really needed so he swerved from his path from the front door to the kitchen and raided Sirius’ cupboards.  
Finding an almost full bottle of vodka in the fridge, he took out a glass from the stand on the counter, poured himself a liberal amount and downed it.  
Grimacing at the taste, Remus told himself. _Good, you’re doing good._ Sirius is gonna be home any minute and he’d do this. Tonight was the night.  
Picking up the empty glass he made his way to the sink for some water. Not paying attention to what he was doing, lost in his own mind as he was, Remus held the glass sideways and turned the tap on to full force that water sprayed everywhere, especially onto the crotch of his pants and the front of his t-shirt.  
“Oh! For the love of-“ Remus cursed as he shut off the water and looked down at himself. The front of his pants and his shirt was drenched.  
You see, Remus had this weird pet peeve of hating the sticky icky feeling of wet clothes on his body. It was also the reason he absolutely hated humid weathers.  
So without giving it much thought, he took off his pants and his shirt setting them on the counter to dry.  
He picked up the vodka and made his way to Sirius’ bedroom to hunt for clothes.  
Stepping into the room, Remus picked up a discarded T-shirt and put it on taking another swig straight from the bottle.  
Some logic seemed to finally awaken in his mind and he looked down at the bottle in hand. Shaking his head at his own behaviour, he capped it off and set it down on the floor and made his way further into the room.  
Little known fact about Sirius was that he was as much of a reader of books and poetry as Remus was and Sirius kept his collection, few but very treasured, in a shelf in his bedroom.  
Picking up on the one that was closest, Remus turned it over to see it was one of his favourite book on poems.  
Smiling a wry smile, Remus just settled down on the bed for a second to rifle through the pages as he’d always been thoroughly annoyed yet warmed at Sirius’ habit of writing his own thoughts in the margins. Remus hated defiling books in such a way but he loved to read Sirius’ commentary, it was one of his favourite means of entertainment, even back in school.  
But what he didn’t know was the extent of his own exhaustion and excitement and he also hadn’t taken the comfort of Sirius’ bed into his judgment and soon Remus fell asleep. 

<<~>>

 

Whistling along with the tune of the song playing on his earphones, Sirius made his way to his apartment. He froze, the humming dying away on his lips when he found his apartment door unlocked. For a second, scenes of a robbery unfolded in his mind where all his valuables were stolen and his apartment ransacked.  
But he was not called reckless without reason. Even though the small alarm that his potential robbers were still inside ran through his mind, he slid the door open and peered around.  
One all-round gaze showed everything to be the way it was supposed to be except a pair of denim pants and a crumpled t-shirt were left on the counter.  
Sirius moved towards it, confusion etched into his demeanour because he was sure those weren’t his. He examined it with a mild curiosity before his gaze fell upon his bedroom door which was left open halfway and the lights were turned on inside.  
Discarding the pair of pants, he walked towards the light, pushing the door open all the way.  
The sight that greeted him greatly amused Sirius. Remus was found curled up on his side in nothing but his boxers and what looked to be Sirius’ T-shirt on his bed clutching onto a pillow, a book discarded nearby, with his face buried under another pillow.  
Silently making his way further into the room, Sirius called out, “Moony?”  
No response.  
Shaking Remus’s arm just below his shoulder Sirius again tried. “Moony?”  
Remus groaned into the pillow, “Go’way.”  
“Moons, hey, wake up?”  
Remus lifted his head from underneath the pillow and peered at Sirius through half-lidded eyes. “Paf’oot!”  
This time Sirius’ amusement shown through by a brilliant grin lighting up his face when Remus, hair a mess of curls and sleep etched face greeted him.  
“Hi there,” said Sirius gently as he made to sit next to Remus. **“Is there a reason you’re naked in my bed?”**  
Remus looked down at himself as if to check whether Sirius’ statement was true or not. “Oh, I wet my pants.” Remus muttered, sleep still coating his voice and thoughts.  
Lips twitching, Sirius asked, “You wet your pants?”  
“Hmm-hmm,” Remus nodded or atleast that was what Sirius thought he was doing considering Remus’ awkward position. “Wait, no. I didn’t wet my pants. Your tap did!” Remus accused. “And my shirt!”  
“Ah, that explains why you’re naked. That doesn’t, however, explain why you’re in my bed.”  
Now Remus had sat up, still clutching a pillow to his chest, “Oh, I wanted to talk to you.” He slurred slightly but enough to catch Sirius’ attention.  
“Are you drunk?” Sirius enquired. All the dots now connected, because this wasn’t normal Remus behaviour. But drunk Remus was a very bold person with no filter.  
“No,” bellowed Remus, clutching the pillow tighter. “Well, maybe a little. I think the proper term is buzzed. I was in a bar before I got here.”  
“Okay then,” Sirius said. Settling himself more comfortably on the bed, he turned to Remus, focusing all his attention on him. “What did you want to talk about?”  
Remus whose gaze had wandered off to the star light Sirius kept on his nightstand simply stated in a low yet strong voice, “I wanted to talk about the fact that I’m in love with you.”  
Sirius froze. Remus’ attention was still on the lamp.  
Backtracking a little in his own mind, Sirius wondered just how long had he dreamed of hearing those words from Remus’ mouth. His crush on his best friend had lived long and strong for years now and Sirius has spent hours, late into the night, fantasizing of how his life would be if his feelings were reciprocated, if Remus felt the same way Sirius did, if they were to become boyfriends. Of all the scenarios that Sirius’ mind had cooked up over the years where long drawn love confessions from both sides made its way to the light, he’d never once imagined it to be like this. Remus, almost completely naked in his bed on a random night, slightly slushed with alcohol in his system simply declaring his love for Sirius with no signs that forewarned him to what was coming.  
Swallowing hard, Sirius’ voice shook a little. “Come again?”  
Now Remus turned to face Sirius fully. “I love you, Sirius.” He shyly grinned at him, twinged at the edges with a little sorrow and resignation. Taking a deep breath, “The bartender told me things like that shouldn’t be left unsaid, so I made my way over here to tell you. I’ve waited so long and tonight, tonight just seemed like the night for some reason. But you weren’t home.” He pouted, “I wanted to leave but I knew if I did I’d never work up the courage again, so I decided to wait for you. I sat to read for a minute to keep my very restless mind occupied but I guess I fell asleep.”  
“Umm, Moony.....” Sirius swallowed hard. Thrown for a loop, Sirius didn’t say anything. The silence stretched between them. Sirius felt his mind was running a mile a minute but at the same time it was too slow to comprehend everything happening around him.  
Drunk or not, Remus had been a very perceptive human being. Deriving his own meaning from the silence, “you don’t. You don’t feel the same.” He whispered his own conclusion.  
Jumping into action all of a sudden, Remus got off the bed, “I should go.” And he ran out of the bedroom.  
Remus’ exit from the room finally spurred Sirius to make a move. Following him in the same hurried pace, Sirius found Remus in the kitchen shoving his feet into his pants as quickly as he possibly could.  
Coming to stand before him, Sirius exclaimed, “No, that’s not true. What makes you say that. I do love you.”  
Wow, this was a night of hurried, brash yet so, so true confessions.  
One foot in, the other halfway through, Remus froze in his actions and dared to look up and lock his gaze with Sirius. Remus blinked. Once, twice. Then once more for good measure, “you do?”  
Sirius paced the length of the room, “Of course I do.” He bellowed to the wall. “God, Remus. The number of times I’ve wanted this to happen is almost comical but I always thought that you-“ turning to Remus, “-that you weren’t interested in me. Not like that.”  
“You thought _I_ wasn’t interested in _you_?” Shoving his other foot in the denim, he made to stand right before Sirius. “Are you crazy? I-“ Incredulous laughter falling from his lips, “I’ve had a crush on you since sixth year, you dipshit. And no matter how hard I’ve tried, no matter who it is I’ve dated or tried to at least, you’ve always been the one I thought about day and night. And you think I didn’t feel the same!”  
Rosy spots bloomed on Sirius’ cheeks and he indignantly shouted back, “Well, how was I supposed to know?”  
“You- you,” Remus felt so at a loss for words at this idiot he had fallen in love with so so long ago that all he could do was grab Sirius’ shirt and yank him forward, their lips crushing at a bruising speed.  
Sirius made a little noise of surprise but as soon as their lips locked, he melted into Remus. His arms circling around Remus’ neck holding him tight while Remus’ arms wound around Sirius’ waist pulling him flush against his own body.  
Breaking apart, Sirius’ eyes still closed, he rested his forehead against Remus’. He didn’t know what to say. This was happening so fast but the anticipation, the pining and the waiting seemed to have stretched on years. It actually had and for all that to boil down to a few minute conversation and for everything to, so quickly, fall into its rightful place gave Sirius whiplash at the moment. Finally, he settled on the one thing that felt safest. “Moons,” he whispered and let out a watery laugh. “I’m so glad you decided to come here tonight.”  
Remus smiled a blissful smile holding Sirius close, “So am I.”  
“What, finally, prompted you tonight?” asked Sirius, as he was genuinely curious.  
Pulling a little farther away but still maintaining his tight hold on Sirius’ waist, Remus cheeks pinked. Looking away, he muttered in a rather embarrassed tone, “It was the flowers.”  
Bemused, Sirius asked, “What?”  
Gazing back into Sirius’ eyes, Remus continued, “It was the way your eyes lit up when you got the flowers. I realised I want to be the one to make your eyes light up like that.”  
“Gosh, Moons!” Sirius sputtered at a loss for words. That might have been the sweetest thing he’d heard from someone all his life. And Sirius just kissed him again. “You’re the only one Remus. You always have been,” Sirius vowed breaking away.  
It was like they both were in some state of shock but neither was willing to let the other go. Their lips found its way back together and within sweet, warm, slow kisses, they held each other tight.  
They knew it’d wear off soon, they knew they had a lot more to talk. It was rather anti-climatic in Sirius’ opinion and he also knew that a few years from now they’d laugh at their own stupidity of letting their feelings stay hidden for so long, not to mention the ribbing they’d get from their friends. God, James would laugh himself silly, Sirius could just picture it. But, for now, the feeling like they held their world in their arms was enough that Sirius felt he could face just about anything in the world.


End file.
